Body Safety & Boundaries: 10 Tips for Parents
You can start to teach your child about body boundaries and safety as soon as they can talk. Here are some tips that can help:
Use appropriate language.
Teach children proper names for all body parts, including their genitals: penis, vagina, breasts and buttocks. Making up names for body parts may give the impression that they are bad or a secret and cannot be talked about. Also, teach your child which parts are "private," those usually covered by a swimsuit, and should not be looked at or touched without their permission.
Evaluate your family's respect for modesty.
Modesty isn't a concept most young children can fully grasp. But you can still lay a foundation for future discussions and model good social boundaries. If you have kids of various ages, for example, teach your younger children to give older siblings their privacy if they request it.
Don't force affection.
Do not force or guilt your children to give hugs or kisses. It is OK for them to tell even grandma or grandpa that they do not want to give them a kiss or a hug goodbye. Teach your child alternate ways to show affection and respect without close physical touch (high-fives, thumbs up, etc.) Reinforce that their body is theirs to control, a concept called body autonomy.
Explain OK vs. not-OK touches.
An "OK touch" is a way for people to show they care for and help each other—like when caregivers help with bathing or toileting, or when doctors check to make sure their body is healthy. Reassure your child that most touches are OK touches. A "not OK touch" is one they don't like, hurts them, makes them feel uncomfortable, confused, scared or one that has anything to do with private parts.
Reinforce that people should respect each other.
Discuss how it is never OK for anyone to look at or touch their private parts without their permission. At the same time, they should not look at or touch other people's bodies without receiving permission.
Give your children a solid rule about inappropriate touches.
It is easy for a child to understand the concept of a rule. This will make it easier for them to recognize a not-OK touch if one happens and say "NO" to these.
Remind your child to always tell you or another trusted grown-up if anyone ever touches their private parts or makes them feel uncomfortable.
Inappropriate touching—especially by a trusted adult—can be very confusing to a child. Reassure your children that you will listen to and believe them if they tell you about not-OK touches.
Control media exposure.
Make a family media plan. Get to know the rating systems of video games, movies, and television shows and make use of parental controls available through many cellular, internet, cable and satellite providers. Providing appropriate alternatives is an important part of avoiding exposure to sexual content in the media. Be aware that children may see adult sexual behaviors in person or on screens and may not tell you that this has occurred.
Review this information regularly with your children.
Some good times to talk to your children about personal safety are during bath time, bedtime, doctor visits and before any new situation. Children meet and interact with many different adults and children every day—at child care, sports practices, dance classes, camps and after-school programs, to name a few. Giving them tools to recognize and respond to uncomfortable situations is key.
Expect questions.
The questions your child asks and the answers that are appropriate to give will depend on your child's age and ability to understand. It is always important to tell the truth.
Source: American Academy of Pediatrics